Wednesday, May 26, 2010

We All Just Wanna Be Big Rockstars and Live in Hilltop Mansions Driving 15 Cars

Today is one of the those days where you wake up in the morning already wishing it was the next day. So much on my plate and all I want to do is watch a movie and not leave the house. I love my life and feel blessed every morning when I wake up in my warm bed with a bedroom that is all to my self (and purple and i love it) and I realize that I can make myself breakfast every day and coffee. I know that I am a blessed little girl, but it's hard not to want to live a different life sometimes. Or it could just be that I feel trapped by college because I have to be here for 2 more years. Dropping out of college isn't an option and I know that. I want to be able to have a degree, it's something I know I can be proud of. I also experience days like today however, where I wish I had tight black denim on, black fingernails, a pink streak in my hair, tattoos all over my arms, and a guitar in my hand. Living in Portland working, and pursuing music. Im pretty over being in Corvallis right now. I love it, don't get me wrong, but Im ready to be home in Beaverton for the summer. I want to get a bike and bike all around Portland this summer. My best friend is going to be in Hawaii all summer so it looks like a somewhat lonely summer for me. I should just make a list of tons of things I want to do this summer. It would be great if I had a side kick, like an awesome golden retriever or something. Well one thing is for sure I will be great at doccumenting my summer whatever I do. This is my 2nd to last summer EVER. In 2 more years I will have to be working year round most likely, well depending on what God has in store. Maybe Bible School is in store. I would love that. K I have to finish a business law paper all for now!
Love and Rock N' Roll

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Morning

Aren't mornings exciting? Do you ever go to bed anticipating the morning? Maybe you had a bad day and you just want to wake up to fresh beginnings? Or perhaps you have an exciting day ahead of you and you just cannot wait for it to begin? Maybe you checked the weather forecast and blue skies were ahead for the next day? I love the mornings because it's a time that I have purposely set aside for myself to get organized for the day ahead. A time to relax and read my bible, or spend time with my Jesus. Do some dishes, and drink coffee. There is so much promise in a morning. How exciting to see what the day will unfold to be. With night time, the mystery of of the day has already been revealed. The mornings in the summer to me is all that more exciting, because usually water is involved somehow. Wakeboarding, or floating the river, or going to a pool. Oh gosh the summer is soooooo fuuuuuuuuuuun. I would just love to be able to have a boat to take my family out on. I would love it if my kids could be little wakeboarders at a young age. I will probably be a nervous wreck, but is it selfish of me to want my kids to be great athletes? I just think it would be so fun to go to all their events/games. I will soooo be that mom with the Tahoe, the nike hat and work out outfit, a coffee in my hand and a million buttons of my kids faces on my jacket. haha. Husband whoever you are, I would love it if you would coach my kids teams. K? Thanks. Alright I must go to class. Until Next time.
Love and the potential of the day

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

"I'm really only a kid still"

You know sometimes I feel like I need to seize every moment/opportunity because it's as if they are going to run out soon. That now that I am 21, so much of my life has already been lived, or things I want to do/ learn to do the time gap for that has already expired. I always wish that I could have been a dancer. For the past two terms I have been at the gym trying to train my body to do pirouettes, and leaps and become more flexible because I wanted to try-out for the Oregon State dance team. I was an athlete all my life. I grew up playing soccer (my one true love) and played basketball and volleyball and softball. It was great playing sports, but a huge part of me thinks that the expression of dance would have been something I loved. The time rolled around in April for try-outs, and I was scared/ made up excuses as to why not to try-out for dance. It's interesting because if I had for whatever reason made the team I would have had to quit my job. Just this last Friday I had an interview for a position as a student staff member with Young Life in Corvallis. I found out this morning that I got the grant money for the job! I think the Lord has bigger plans for me then I have/had for myself. I wish I would walk out in faith more often. Follow the Lord when it maybe isn't the easiest thing to do. Shouldn't we trust that what he has planned is perfect and undeniable. Why do I even try to choose paths for myself when the Lord is so patiently waiting for us to pick up our own cross and follow after him?
In regards to expression of myself, I think I already told you how this whole blogging thing is new to me and Im choosing to use this as a means for expression. This has been great, it really does help me. I think the next step is art. Art on my body. A tattoo. I have it all planned out.. or so I think. Im just saving money right now. I just want to express myself and learn who I am and what I like. Sometimes I feel so old and have all this weight on my shoulders of responsibility, but when I step back for a second I realize that I'm still young and I'm really only a kid still. I was watching a tv show where the mom on the show died and it brought me to tears. We aren't talking like a few streams down the cheek, we are talking full on crying here. I got really emotional about it. I realized how much I still need my mom and how young it made me feel. I sleep with my baby blanket still for goodness sakes. My poor husband will have to just get over that fun fact. I'm still figuring out what I like, how to do my hair, what makeup looks best on me, how to cook and take care of my roommates, how to study best for an exam. How to drive the speed limit on the highway and what music I like. Deciding things like who I choose to spend my time on, and who/ what I want to put my effort into. Learning how I'm like my parents, and what I have acquired on my own. Realizing that my nose doesn't look like anyone else in the Moon family, but that my brother and I have the same exact booty. I love playing the guitar, but I hate performing... so don't ask. I love acting, and I hate it when people talk down to me, or make me feel dumb. I'm a smart girl, but not your typical book smart logical thinker. I love exercising and hate feeling bad about my own body. I'm learning what it means to be content in my own skin. K thats all I have for now. Happy Cinco De Mayo/ Cinco De Mustache I guess, haha. I have to go get ready for Business Law.
Love and Youth