Monday, November 1, 2010

If I Only Had a Brain

You know sometimes I just feel like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. I run around trying to manage my life, and keep everything together, but what it boils down to, is I'm a full time student. Why isn't that more of a priority in my life? I was sitting in my 8 am comm 218 class today, and I was staring out the window I was sitting next to. The sun was just coming up in the sky, and the trees outside were beautiful shades of reds, oranges, and yellows. Typical Oregon. It made me think of New England though.Have I ever been there? Nope. But have I seen it on Gilmore Girls? Yep! Made me think of Ivy league schools, like Harvard, and Yale, and made me wish that i took school more seriously, or that it came more naturally to me. School is hard for me, but there are times when I just wish that a huge part of my identity was that I was a genius. Perhaps an undercover genius. Not the type that rubs it in peoples faces, or makes others feel dumb, because they are so smart. I just want to walk around campus and feel a better sense of belonging, and that I'm gaining new knowledge every day and making the best of it. Like Rory Gilmore. I'm still listening to new information every day, but I just have the hardest time retaining it. But then I thought about how often I think about being things I'm not. Like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. I mean how fun would it be to move to Dallas, try-out for the team and make it?! I could at least try right? Graduate from OSU, before I have to go out and get a "real job," I go try-out for the cowboys. It's not practical. I'm fairly certain I wouldn't even make the Oregon State Dance Team, but I would be able to say that I was a woman who at least tried. A woman who went after her dreams. I just can't get this picture of what my life could be out of my head. And I'm not trying to discredit what my life is now, and what the Lord has blessed me with in my 21 years. But I have fallen a bit in love with this idea of country lifestyle. The dancing, the outfits, the accents, the courtesy, the rugged idea of living in the south, or in Texas. I've never even been to any of these places, but I feel as though my heart already belongs. Oh gosh, the Lord has alot to teach me about being content where I'm at. If I only had a Brain...
Well here's to studying and trying to expand my brain, until next time!
Love and flashcards
-Kate