Monday, December 27, 2010

The House That Built Me

When I think of college, and I start reflecting on the years I have spent in Corvallis, I start getting a little sentimental already. Knowing full well that I will be a fifth year senior makes it so I don't see everything as my last time. Last home football game, last year with my roommates, last time I have fall term at Oregon State. I have been walking around free of conscience that I will have another full year to live through my "lasts." Recently speaking, I am starting to believe that I need to start living through my lasts NOW! Taking into great consideration, thought and prayer, I have more peace now than ever about moving home to go to Portland State next fall. I know what you're thinking... "ohh... she's transferring? Giving up huh? Is she actually going to finish school and graduate, or just start working full time?" Valid questions I assure you, but I think the Lord has put peace in my heart about it. Most of my friends won't be in Corvallis anyways, and I will just feel like the weird 5th year at school. Gosh I love Corvallis though, and OSU. There are SO many things I will miss about it. But most of all, I will miss my house that with my roommates we have created a home for ourselves there. The paint we put on the walls, the scents we filled the rooms with, the get-togethers we have had there, Family dinners. That house means so much more to me then I ever thought possible. It's broken stove, rotting carpet, squeaky floorboards, and all. I will forever look back on that house and smile with a warmness in my heart. The summer I spent living there by myself is the closest I have ever felt to my God. Living a completely surrendered life to him, starting each morning with my bible, and coffee (that I made myself every day because I couldn't afford to ever buy myself coffee) sitting on my front porch as I worshiped and listened to my sweet Jesus give me grace and mercy I did not deserve.
There is a line in the Miranda Lambert Song that says, "
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar," I love that line because it is like my back bedroom in my Corvallis house. I learned to play guitar in that house, and spent countless hours working on projects, homework, and creating my own little zen in that purple room. So much of this song I feel like applies to me, even though I am aware that she sings about her childhood house. So much of me changed living in my Corvallis house. So much was learned and experienced. No one can take those memories from me. I just can't wait to share those memories with my husband and children someday. What a precious time in my life. Growing up, learning to be an adult, moving on.
I suppose the next step is to talk with an advisor about transferring. If my credits transfer okay, I don't think anything else would stop me from leaving. It's a sad realization. I truly wanted my degree to be from Oregon State, I don't know if I will even let myself say Im an OSU Alum. That part makes me sad. But here is to new beginnings, a new campus, and to saving money.
Love and always bleeding Orange and Black
-Kate



I know they say you can’t go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma’am I know you don’t know me from Adam
But these handprints on the front steps are mine

Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
I bet you didn’t know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama’s dream

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could walk around in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I walk around I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

2 comments:

  1. Love this post. Give your fans a 2011 update!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Katie,
    I've been there, but hang in there and don't worry we can hang out at PSU:)!

    ReplyDelete