Monday, February 28, 2011

Is It Ok If... Part 2

Is it okay if I wish I were Filipino, is it okay that I may or may not have add, like to waste an entire rainy afternoon watching Friends on DVD trying to postpone working on homework? Is it okay if I change my outfit on average 3 times a day, I'm only 5'4, I don't have the body of a Victoria's Secret model, I have really cold hands and feet, I embarrass easily to the point that my face turns really red? Is it okay that I don't like to be the center of attention, and I have a rebellious side to me? Is it okay that I want to move to central Oregon because that is where my happiest moments are? Is it okay that I'm a little sad Brad and I are going to be apart alot in the next couple months, but I am happy for him too? Is it okay that when my puppy Reggie passes away I will be inconsolable, so you probably won't want to talk to me for a few days? I love fresh sheets on my bed, I love wasting time with my roommates, I love laughing at inside jokes, I love when people pray over me, I love wearing rain boots so I can splash a little in puddles. I love being organized but time management stresses me out, I can't wait to be a mom and hold my little babies in my arms, I can't wait to be a wife but I still have alot to learn. I love attending church at Solid Rock, but sometimes I have a hard time going to any other church. I guess these things make me who I am, so it should be okay, but it's easy to question yourself, and what exactly does make you who you are. I have friends and family that love me, and I believe that the love goes hand in hand with acceptance. So I guess it is okay.

Love and Rockets,

-Kate

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crushin

I get so excited to see him. I love it when he wears his jeans, a white tee and his glasses. He is so handsome to me. Tall, confident, adorable smile. Have you ever dated someone who makes you a little nervous, but you have never felt so comfortable with them at the same time? I know this is a weird thing, but I have noticed it about myself and I feel it's worth mentioning. I always have an appetite when I am around him. Other guys I have dated we would go out for dinner and I would be sick to my stomach on the date, or I would be so incredibly nervous I wouldn't be hungry. So weird, I know. Another thing, I always want to hold his hand. When we are in public it sometimes kills me that we try to be conservative and not be the PDA couple. That's why I like it when it's just me and him, I can hold his hand if and when I want to. He is so thoughtful too. Valentines Day was so enjoyable because he made me feel so special by taking me to the beach for dinner.
What's funny to me though is how different we are. He is so time oriented and responsible. Not to say I am not, but we have different priorities when it comes to school and our social life. I used to think our humor was pretty different, but now I just find myself laughing when I'm around him. He's cute. I kinda like him. I think I'll keep him around for awhile.

I wish he was going to be in Corvallis for spring term. I'm excited for him to go travel for a bit, but he won't even be able to be my date for my brother's wedding. It's okay. It's only 8 weeks right? K well sorry if this is embarrassing babe. But it's all for you.

Love and Crushin'
-Kate

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Hellooooo East Side




Life is short right? That's what we hear all the time. Life is short, so live it up now! Do you feel like you are "living it up?" Sometimes I think I do, and then other times I'm not so sure. I graduated high school as an excited 18 year old ready to pounce on any and every opportunity that presented itself to me. Through these last four years at Oregon State University, I suppose I could say I have learned a lot. Gained a lot of life knowledge, learned about relationships, learned about who I am as a person, and who I want to be. Gained some amount of knowledge within the classroom setting, although I already regret how seriously (or not seriously in my case) I have taken my post high school learning. Relationships. Relationships are what I strive to be good with. They are what I care for. They are what I put the majority of my energy into. I'm tired of feeling stressed and unhappy. I'm tired of feeling inadequate at my role as a student. I'm ready to feel good about myself again, and do things I'm good at. I'm ready to be excited about life again. Experience new things. Travel perhaps. Do missions work. Learn what it is that gets me excited to wake up every day. Hobbies, a career, relationships, a boy I'm in love with. What are those things?
A friend of mine mentioned to me last week the idea of living together when she gets home from Australia. I was so excited at first when I read it, and the ideas in my head started rolling. How fun,oh man we would have dance parties,we could encourage one another in our faith, we could explore Portland together, we could decorate our apartment soooo cute, she could teach me about photography. My mind was just going. But then the darkness swept into my mind. School. It makes no sense to live with Ali if I could live at home for free and go to school.
After I talked these ideas out with my friend Kylie, I started to realize that school doesn't have to be done in any particular way, as long as you eventually graduate. I could live with Ali in Portland, work full time, and take a class at a time. I will eventually graduate. I only have one year left, but I'm so burned out that one more year is physically exhausting to me.
Prayer is obviously needed in the decisions I have for the near future, but gosh I am just getting excited about the idea of living in Portland away from my parents. Living in some cute apartment on the East side, dressing all funky like Portland people do. Drinking my french press coffee, going to Solid Rock, Not being consumed by school.
Time for a new chapter in the book of Katie Moon. I am beginning to get excited, but I am still learning to be patient and wait on the Lord. None of my expectations mean anything if they are not in coordination with God's will for my life. I believe that when I have peace in my heart and mind that God has most certainly put that there for a reason. It is His way of speaking to me. God will close doors if it is not where He wants me. So time for me to get on my knees to really pray about this. Whatever the summer holds, and the later half of this year, I know the Lord has a lot to teach me (as always) and I am just excited to see what that is.

Love and Wandering Hawthorne Street in My Mind
-Kate