Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Hellooooo East Side
Life is short right? That's what we hear all the time. Life is short, so live it up now! Do you feel like you are "living it up?" Sometimes I think I do, and then other times I'm not so sure. I graduated high school as an excited 18 year old ready to pounce on any and every opportunity that presented itself to me. Through these last four years at Oregon State University, I suppose I could say I have learned a lot. Gained a lot of life knowledge, learned about relationships, learned about who I am as a person, and who I want to be. Gained some amount of knowledge within the classroom setting, although I already regret how seriously (or not seriously in my case) I have taken my post high school learning. Relationships. Relationships are what I strive to be good with. They are what I care for. They are what I put the majority of my energy into. I'm tired of feeling stressed and unhappy. I'm tired of feeling inadequate at my role as a student. I'm ready to feel good about myself again, and do things I'm good at. I'm ready to be excited about life again. Experience new things. Travel perhaps. Do missions work. Learn what it is that gets me excited to wake up every day. Hobbies, a career, relationships, a boy I'm in love with. What are those things?
A friend of mine mentioned to me last week the idea of living together when she gets home from Australia. I was so excited at first when I read it, and the ideas in my head started rolling. How fun,oh man we would have dance parties,we could encourage one another in our faith, we could explore Portland together, we could decorate our apartment soooo cute, she could teach me about photography. My mind was just going. But then the darkness swept into my mind. School. It makes no sense to live with Ali if I could live at home for free and go to school.
After I talked these ideas out with my friend Kylie, I started to realize that school doesn't have to be done in any particular way, as long as you eventually graduate. I could live with Ali in Portland, work full time, and take a class at a time. I will eventually graduate. I only have one year left, but I'm so burned out that one more year is physically exhausting to me.
Prayer is obviously needed in the decisions I have for the near future, but gosh I am just getting excited about the idea of living in Portland away from my parents. Living in some cute apartment on the East side, dressing all funky like Portland people do. Drinking my french press coffee, going to Solid Rock, Not being consumed by school.
Time for a new chapter in the book of Katie Moon. I am beginning to get excited, but I am still learning to be patient and wait on the Lord. None of my expectations mean anything if they are not in coordination with God's will for my life. I believe that when I have peace in my heart and mind that God has most certainly put that there for a reason. It is His way of speaking to me. God will close doors if it is not where He wants me. So time for me to get on my knees to really pray about this. Whatever the summer holds, and the later half of this year, I know the Lord has a lot to teach me (as always) and I am just excited to see what that is.
Love and Wandering Hawthorne Street in My Mind