Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Stone was Rolled Away, but no Body Remained: He Has Risen!

It is Easter. Today marks the day that Jesus rose from the Grave, because death has no hold on our eternal creator. If Jesus can be risen from the dead, we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us Strength. Even in the hard times, and the times you don't think you can go on. My friends, please know that your Heavenly Father, knows you, created you, and above all else, HE Loves you. He loves you for who you are now, and where you are right now in this moment. He doesn't love you for the acts you have done, or the things you will accomplish in the future, no He loves you in the here and now, always had, and always will. He promises hard times in this life. The world is not perfect this side of Heaven, but know that you can run to a Father who will never disappoint you, never leave you, never forsake you. He created you with a purpose, and no one else in this world can be you, so embrace the beautiful differences he gave you. You are so desperately loves, and God wants you to run to him. Run to Him!! He Has Risen today, Death cannot conquer our Creator!

Love and Freedom in Christ


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Missing My Sailor

Well Brad is officially in Greece. Greece is 9 hours ahead of us. That means it is 7pm where Brad is. I wonder what his itinerary is like. Is he going to bed soon? Are they having class right now? Well I just hope that whatever he is doing right now, he is safe, and is loving every second! I sure do miss him though. Gosh its just weird with him gone. Our goodbye together was pretty precious. Kind of like it was straight out of a movie.
But while Brad is away for 65 more days soaking up the European lifestyles and growing closer to Jesus, I need to make sure I am doing the same. (minus the European lifestyle part of course). I don't want Brad to come home all enlightened and closer to the Lord, without me being the same way. I want Brad to notice a difference in me as well. The last couple of days I have tried not to act super bummed out by him being gone, but the truth of the matter is I am super bummed. It is hard for me to hide it when I am upset about something, but it is also not fair for me to take out my sadness on my roommates, when they see me bummin. I know one thing though, I know people are just trying to help, but I am not a fan of people saying to me that it's only 10 weeks that he's gone. Because to me that feels like an eternity, and it also feels like people are trying to dismiss my feelings. When you care so much about someone and they take off it is hard to deal with. Especially when I can't even talk to him on the phone at all. Pretty much my only option would be to put a message in a bottle and throw it into the ocean just hoping it will reach him in Greece.
With the wedding coming up in less than 2 weeks, I am thankfully slightly distracted by all of the excitement with Summer and Ben. I will also be at the ranch taking girls to camp for one of the weeks Brad is gone too. So take away about 3 weeks, and it is more like 7 that he is gone. haha.
While he is gone we both decided to keep journal posts for one another. So I write in my journal for him when I can just about my day and how I wish he was with me. He has one too that he is supposed to be writing down his experiences in, so he won't forget to tell me anything. I already just cannot wait to hear about all of him adventures. He is probably going to have an extreme travel bug when he gets home. Maybe I will get a passion for traveling, and we can do it together!
Well I didn't want to deny my true feelings on here. This is what I am thinking about right now, and I know there will be days where it is easier, and days where it is alot harder. So I am just trying to do my best at keeping my head up, and trying to focus on how good this time will be for Brad and I both spiritually. We can grow closer to Jesus independently, so when we are reunited we can be better for each other together. I praise the Lord for this time in our relationship, and I look forward to celebrating our 5 month anniversary together when he returns.

Love and Messages in a Bottle

ps. This song always makes me think of Brad, so enjoy.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Wife in Progress

The wedding is now officially 20 days away. I couldn't be more excited! Ok... for the record I am not talking about my own wedding here. Summer and Brudder bear are getting married! I am about to have an older sister that I have wanted since I was little. The Lord has been good to our family, and we just adore Summer. This will be the very first wedding I am in too! Can't wait!
But while I am waiting, I must say weddings are certainly in season, and in full bloom right now. It's hard not to think of your own fantasy wedding, and you look harder at yourself in the mirror than ever before. You start analyzing whether or not you think of yourself as bride worthy, and if being a wife could be on the near horizon. I look at the next year of my life ahead, and I see my senior year of school and God-willing graduation, I see living at my parents house, and I see working on myself and my relationship with my creator. I desire so desperately to make an excellent wife and mother someday, that it can be an all consuming fire of thoughts. I think of Proverbs 31 the classic "good wife" verses in the bible, and how I want to be a strong partner, and helper to my future husband. I love to care for others, and I know God has given me such a motherly way about myself. The older I get the more I long for a family of my own someday. Seeing my brother and Summer care for one another just gets me more and more excited about the life I have in front of me. I desire to be married when I am done with school however soon that can be. I am working on my baking skills, and I love having my house in Corvallis to clean and keep tidy for guests, and to show my love to my roommates. I may not be the most book smart of all women, but I know in my heart that I will be an excellent wife and mother, and I want so badly to cling to that truth when the devil whispers lies to me that I am stupid and not worthy of love. School is just so good at making me feel inadequate and dumb on a daily basis, and I feel defeat. I don't want to continue thinking that my life will officially start once I am married, but I just think that will be my time to shine. Please don't think that I am naive enough to believe that marriage isn't hard, but you also need to remember that I have quite the example of marriage from Margaret and Steve that I look up to. Marriage is beautiful, and if I haven't found it already, I look forward to the day when I am holding the hand of my partner and best friend in life.
I know I still have so much to work on. Living for someone else, and constantly laying your life down for that person seems like alot of work, and that's nothing compared to having 3 kids and a husband. I just look forward to the future and what is in store, while I am also working on living in the moment and being thankful for God's blessings NOW! My goal is to start working on cooking/ baking. I will do my best at taking pictures and putting them on here.

Brad is going on a little snow trip to a fire watch tour with his dad and some friends tomorrow. I better start getting used to him being gone.

Love and Motivation